"...and I will dwell in the House of the LORD forever!"

Monday, September 10, 2012

Outlining an Obituary

Have you ever outlined your obituary? Ever thought about writing your own? If you have, meet Val Patterson.


Mr. Patterson passed away a few weeks ago, but before he passed, he included some “important” details to the local newspaper. His obituary began with the usual loving tribute to family members and his personal resume of accomplishments, but then it transitioned to Patterson’s confessions. Patterson, a man who lived by the motto, “Anything for a laugh”, lifted these humorous burdens off his chest.

1) University of Utah

“When I went to pay off my college student loan, the girl working the desk put my receipt into the wrong file, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate. I only had about three years of college credit. In fact, I never learned what the letters PhD stood for, but they did provide a professional career in engineering. Thank You University of Utah!”

2) Disneyland and Sea World

“Now you can throw away the ‘Banned for Life’ file you have on me. I’m not a problem anymore.”

3) Park Ranger

To that really mean Park Ranger—it was me who rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. However, I did notice that you were able to get Old Faithful working again. Sorry about that.”

Even from the grave, Val Patterson honors his motto. These confessions provide a few laughs, but, if you sat down and outlined your obituary, what would you include? Would you seek a worldly laugh, or would you sustain a godly legacy?

Even if you’re a “humorous” soul, choose the latter. On the Day of Judgment it will be holiness, not humor, which warrants the words, “Enter into the joy of your Lord.”